Person 9

If it felt right, would you want me to know?

9.

This will be the first and last time I ever say anything meaningful to you via the internet.

Why? Because I worry about the fact that we haven't really had a "serious" conversation. Maybe one or two, which are good starts. I don't want us to only be able to communicate (ah, girl-words) online. I know that sort of thing is hard for you, it's hard for me too, and I hope I'm not remiss in thinking I'm one of those people who you're afraid to open up to because you actually care about what they think.

That said: You are a wonderful person and you make me very, very happy. I know you think you're dull, and even though I don't think so, that's fine. I'll make you interesting while you keep me sane. We've agreed upon how we're opposites, how you're everything that I am not: quiet, creative, reasonable, healthy, diverse. I just wish we could talk. We smile at each other a lot, and we even ask "...what?" but neither of us ever respond. Maybe it's because in the moment I can't find the words to articulate how happy I am, how I feel like I don't deserve you and how goddamn lucky I am to have you sitting there, smiling back at me.

So now that you know, maybe next time you ask "what?" I'll actually tell you what I'm thinking.

Person 8

8.

I actually wrote a "letter of confession" (term copyright BJB 2005) to you a little while ago but felt ridiculous afterwards so I deleted it. Now that some time has passed and I have a slightly more objective outlook I feel ready to say everything to you, anonymously, that I think I need to. Ready? Me neither.

I cut you out of my life over the past few months. I'm not sure if you've noticed or not, but I have. I deleted your number from my cell phone, I took your screen name off my buddy list, I removed myself from a Facebook group regarding you, I even made sure that the one day a week we would have to see each other that I would be elsewhere. It's not that I hate you, or think you even wronged me in any significant way. It's that I don't think I can handle being near you. For some reason I cannot explain I am drawn to you so strongly, and I get all emo just thinking about how awkward I have made our situation to be for me. Sorry about that, truly. For all I know you really did want to be friends and here I go, avoiding you like biology homework.

I think you are fun, interesting, cute, and hilarious and I apologize for any rudeness. I wish I wasn't a crazy female and that we could actually be friends. You seem like an amazing person to be friends with, and I am sincerely sorry that I can't deal with you. To be fair, you were kind of a big jerk, but everyone is from time to time and I don't hold it against you. Really. Best of luck with your children's stories and debatably good music. Maybe next year we can be acquaintences. Who knows.