Sunday, October 28, 2007

Without A Trace

Stick your heart inside of my chest, keep it warm here while we rest

I'm not entirely sure which cause to blame for my extreme fatigue today. One option is the fact that in the last 48 hours the only solid food to make its way into my belly has been a bagel and some crackers. Another likely option is my decided lack of sleep last night. Any combination of those two to varying degrees is enough to make me cranky. Today, however I was outright drained, and I'm pointing my nimble finger at complete emotional exhaustion.

I watch a lot of crime drama-- you know, Law and Order, NCIS, Without A Trace-- and so my Worst Case Scenario trigger is a bit sensitive. To be fair to Mass Media, I've always been a little bit panicky, if only quietly and privately. It's not unusual for me to convince myself that the noise in the kitchen is a knife-wielding maniac, or think that because my dad hadn't emerged from his bedroom an hour past his usual wake-up time that he must be dead.

99% of the time good ol' Left Brain steps in rather quickly and rationalizes the situation, and 100% of the time (thus far) LB's instinct has been accurate ("calm down, it's only the dishwasher/a sleep-in morning, stupid!"). However, a lack of contact combined with the phrase "He decided to walk back around 3am, and that's the last time anyone's seen or heard from him" effectively silenced LB and the irrational panic of the heart took the wheel.

Things eventually worked themselves out, and I'm feeling a bit silly about the whole thing. If anything good came out of the situation, it really solidified any lingering doubts I might have had regarding emotional attachment. It also taught me to wait for vocal confirmation before I embark on a 30 mile trek.

I suppose it also goes to show that if I want to continue to function in Life, emotions better back the hell off. They're simply exhausting.

Thanks Poncho,

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


There will be no white flag across my door

Anyone who thinks The Colbert Report is legitimately right-wing and/or conservative is probably a bit of an idiot. In this same vein, anyone who thinks his bid for presidential candidacy is probably also eligible for the short bus (I'm looking at you, Federal Election Committee). I personally don't find his show that amusing, the "I'm A Bigger Conservative Blockhead Than Bill O'Reiley" gets old pretty quickly, but I do appreciate a good running-gag, and announcing presidential candidacy is a pretty decent one.

What irks me is how far Colbert (the character, the actor) is taking his joke. When you confuse the FEC into thinking you're truly running for president, you're obviously doing something very right. As an obvious Bleeding Heart Hippie Liberal (and if not, an extremely sado-masochistic Money Grubbing Conservative), this is the demographic Colbert appeals to, more specifically the young BHHL's. The historical problem with third parties in the US is that they take away votes from whichever main-line party candidate they are closest in values to. Young people are dumb, and young people who would consider voting for a fake candidate are probably liberal. Young conservatives don't have nearly the amount of imagination or cynicism to vote for a joke. So why's he attempting to maneuver votes away from his apparent party of choice?

I doubt it'll go that far, but with mainstream media and governmental agencies taking Colbert (the character) seriously, I'm starting to get concerned.

And for my next trick: I will figure out how to talk about "cultural lenses" without sounding like a racist!


Wednesday, October 3, 2007


If I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free

Dear SLT Professor: I'm not entirely convinced that you're allowed to declare yourself victorious when 20 out of 32 students show up for class, despite having told everyone class was optional. I'm pretty sure we're all there because going to class is habitual and the key to good grades. Not because of mystical manipulative powers.

Dear Roomie: When is it my turn for my boyfriend to live with me? I'm starting to feel a little left out.

Dear Hair: I know we've had our ups and downs, and I know you're under a lot of pressure to grow longer, faster, but if we could find some sort of compromise where you do what I tell you to, that would be great.

Dear Alex: Du hast Recht, wann du geschrieben hast, dass wir eine "beiderseitige Faszination" mit einander haben. Dich liebe ich mehr als ich kann sagen, und ich bin verruekt nach dir. Ich vermisse dich gerade jetzt, und will mit dir sein. Danke fuer die Erinnerungen, frueher und kuenftig.

Dear TGIFriday's: Please hire more bartenders. We're dying.

Dear Brain: Buck up, laddie. Hard times lie ahead.

Gag me,