Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Autumn meloncholy

When I was young I learned a game
where love and happiness were the same

Autumn weather always seems to suit my mood. Wet, crisp, chilly, and usually overcast it can supplement both the best and worst temprements. It's my favorite time of year and I'm all revved up to have a delightful Fall, but absolutely no time to enjoy it. Sad.

A conversation with a co-worker made me question the underlying causes for my inherent laziness. I'm beginning to think the problem is that everyone seems to have too much confidance in me. No one ever tells me that I'm not capable of doing things, or that I can't do something. Therefore, instead of trying to prove them right and show them that I deserve this confidance, I sit back and assume that these things will come to me like everyone thinks they will. Of course, if I were to be told that I couldn't do something, I very well might just sit back and give up. It's a fine line to walk, this blaming of others.

I decided that my favorite type of music is "epic". It's not a genre, just my word for absolutely grand, sweeping chords and driving beats that tell a story and make my heart soar with glee. The newest My Chemical Romance song ("Welcome to the Black Parade") fits the bill quite nicely, as does Muse's "Knights of Cydonia".

It's a rather hollow victory when you take 1st place for an event at a tournament where a) 60% of your competitors were forced to be there against their will b) 80% of them were titanically awful and c) the teammates you beat were still on notecards. I finally got a "big" trophy (yay), but the tournament director neglected to utter the phrase "And your tournament champion in Informative speaking is..." (boo). I'll take the National qualifications though, thanks.

Having my life scheduled out down to the minute makes the days fly by faster than unscheduled monotony. Where is my fall term going?

13 days until Halloween/Glynnis' birthday!
18 days until Chrissy's birthday!
27 days until Rise Against!
36 days until Thanksgiving/Interim!
44 days until Linda's birthday!
45 days until Berlin!
56 days until I turn 21!
68 days until Christmas!
75 days until 2007!

Poo York City,

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster

I am not a giggly girl. I don't go into hysterics whenever something hilarious happens. At best, I'll let out a nice, sincere laugh and then let it drop. Every so often something will strike me as so utterly ridiculous that I'll laugh so hard that no noise comes out and tears squeeze out of my eyes. MXC was good for that the other day. I am not one to fall into screams of laughter, however, and those who do grate on my ears. Quiet amusement is the life for me.

I've found it's getting easier and easier to break through my Glass Cage of Emotion and ask questions that have been on my mind. It is still a task which requires weeks of thinking, waiting, and gathering up a network of safety nets and small acrobats, but it is, nevertheless, easier than it used to be. I just wish the same could be said for my intended conversational counterpart.

Some people need to work on humility. Oh wait, that's me.

The more I learn about astronomy and the universe, the more my belief in God is strengthened. It's a little complicated, but ask me about it sometime.