Monday, March 13, 2006

Frustrated with home


Find out games you don't want to play

I need to move out. Unfortunately, my lack of income is prohibitive of this, and so I am left playing the ever popular "avoid my family" game.

It's not that I don't love my mom, or enjoy seeing Linda all the time. It's that I feel like my own person with my own life, and living as a subordinate within my family's life is beginning to make me burst at the seams. It's little things, like Linda lecturing me about clothes, or my mom presuming that she still has say over what I do outside of the house. I'm very well aware that while I live here, not paying rent or bills or even buying my own food, that I am to abide by house rules. There aren't that many and I don't have rebellious desires that conflict with said rules, so life is not terrible. It just gets frustrating when choices I make and actions I take that are completely removed from my life at home are suddenly criticized and labeled as something I am "not allowed" to do while living here. I think if I want to run around downtown Chicago naked, doing 3 story beer bongs, and stealing candy from children that it is my perogative. My mom can worry about my scandalous, drunken, and illegal behavior, yes, but I don't think she can tell me that I "can't" engage in said activities.

As long as I am here, I feel like a spoiled, petulant child. Perhaps that is all I really am, and maybe that's all I'll ever be until I get tossed out and have to face the harsh realities of "real life". We'll see.

Dirty little secret,
Cathi

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