Wednesday, November 15, 2006


Someday you will find me caught beneath the landslide

It's always easy to tell when I'm really stressed out, because all my blogs get silmultaneously updated in a burst of procrastination. Currently I'm procrastinating on getting dressed and going to Sears Optical, because setting foot in that place and purchasing new glasses will make the fact that I'm a money-wasting idiot a reality. My opinion of myself is really rather fragile, and it seems important that I lie to myself for a little while longer.

Only 7 days left in this school term. Which, on one hand, means that in a week I'll be mostly free from school obligations until January, but on the other hand means that I have 7 days to write two 5-page papers, a 10-page paper, finish a TV news wrap, and write/create/produce a 10 minute radio drama. Plus actual final tests as well as working every day. Goodbye friends, goodbye Boy, goodbye family, goodbye TV, goodbye sleep. Hello panic.

Of course, as usual, I'm approaching both these situations with my usual calm demeanor, telling myself "things will work themselves out, they always do", and crossing my fingers that I will stumble upon the magical balance of finding time to not fail school and earn enough money so I can make rent/bill payments for the next two months.

If anyone ever tells you to go take 20 days off work to spend an undetermined large amount of money in a foreign country, make sure you take the time to figure out if having a negative income for 20 days won't cripple you financially. I'm lucky enough to have parents who don't want to see me struggle through life, and lucky enough to have a soft enough conscience that I'll let them help me out, but the guilt and worry is still ever present.

It's too bad they don't make chalky-fruity tablets for the kind of stomach ache that worry/guilt/disappointment/stress cause. I'd live off those.

Champange supernova,

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